Blowing Away The Stress

Bubblesssss!!!

Heyy...I'm slipping up a little on posting on my blog, mosty due to the fact that my laptop is broken 😭. I'm determined to keep the posts coming. Even though it's not the most ideal, I'm blogging on my phone for now.

Alright..

So here it goes: Today has been my first day COMPLETELY off work in the last 7 days. Even though I am beyond grateful for a day without work, I've had absolutely nothing to do all day--except think. Think about everything: Life. Career. Social Life. Adult Shit.

What's mainly weighing on me right now is work. I'm a sales agent and my job is performance-based, meaning that I have to meet certain standards each month to keep my job. After a year of working there, I've found myself on what's called a PIP. Last month was so rough for me, that I fell below goal. Now I have to meet requirements each day or it could result in me losing my job.

My emotions are all over the place: I'm afraid--I have rent & bills to pay. What would I do without any steady income. On the other hand, I'm somewhat indifferent. I've been at this job for a year too long that I'be wanted to be & I'll admit: I've become complacent. As much as I want another job, I haven't put a lot of energy into finding another one & the ones that I do find. I'm not interested. I find myself consciously looking for a stopping point so that I can take the time and find a career/job I'll love. As abrupt as it is, could this be my stopping point?

This is the age-old adult battle: Responsibility vs. Passion. On one hand, we want to be comfortable & have all the things we need without struggle...but on the other hand, you want to be able to dedicate 100% of time to doing what you love, which isn't always what pays the bills.

I don't know. I'm going to just give it my all at work on each call. If that doesn't work than it's just not meant to be. In the meantime, I do have a small cushion with my savings & I'll need to cut my spending.

So what does all this have to do with my title???

Well, I was just sitting on the couch thinking & I started blowing bubbles. For whatever reason, I realized that blowing the bubbles eased my mind a little. After a quick Google search, I found that blowing bubbles really is a good stress reliever. I like it. It brings me back to being a kid again & helps to ease my mind.

Guess I'll be blowing my stress away! (This was the most clever ending that I could come up with lol)

Live your life in YELLOW!

Yours Truly,
Aesha

A Winter Day Off

Gonna keep this post brief. For the last 2 days, I went home to visit my mom & baby sister. Yes...I'm 23 years old and I have a 2-month old sister. As always, I love all the time I can spend with them. We watched some cable, went out to eat & just chilled. Speaking of chill! While I was down her it decided to snow! :)

Here's some selfies & pics from today!

Live Your Life In YELLOW!

Yours Truly,
Aesha

Feelin' Myself!

Everything On FLEEK!

I woke up this morning (yesterday morning) & it was a beautiful day! Even though it was only about 30 degrees, the sun was shining and there was not a cloud in the sky. What made it even better: I didn't have to work! I took a paid day off. I felt I needed & deserved an extra off day.

Before I go to sleep, I did want to share my amaaazing twist-out as well as my #OOTD!!

At this point, I've pretty much got my perfect two-strand twist down to a sciene! My hair came out so soft with so much definition in the curls! 

Products used:

Shampoo: Shea Moisture Curl and Shine

Conditioner: Ogx Coconut Milk Conditioner

Leave-In: Kinky-Curly Knot Today

Defining Cream: Beautiful Textures Curl Control 

Moisturizer: Beautiful Textures Moisture Butter

Oil: Jamaican Castor Oil w/ Coconut Oil

Steps To The Style: Very Easy. Wash, Condition & Detangle your hair. Take a small amount  of curl pudding & moisture butter and rake it through a section of your hair. Two-strand twist the hair. Allow to air dry or sit under a hooded dryer (My hair took a whole 24 hours to dry!). In the morning, rub a small amount of oil in your hair & very carefully unravel the twists. Boom! You've got cute curls :)

(My make-up was kinda cute too!)

Got this cuteee sweater from Forever 21 on sell for less than $7.00! #LOVEIT Actually everything in the pic is from Forever 21. (My favorite store!)

 

 Live Your Life In YELLOW!

Yours Truly,
Aesha

Good Girls? Yes We Exist!

I'm getting tired...but I did want to leave you with a preview of tomorrow's post.

Where my good girls at???

#MCM: McKinley Freeman!!

Nights like I this, Hulu and Netflix are just not enough... :(

Tonight was the "Hit The Floor" premiere, after an almost 2-year hiatus, annnnnnd I missed it. :(

Unfortunately, I have no cable and I didn't have anyone's house to go to and watch it. I desperately want some cable but it just doesn't fit into my budget and after working in a place where I listen to high cable bills all day long, quite frankly I'm a little scared to add on TV service.

"Hit The Floor" is my show though. I just might crack and get some cable. In the words of Kanye West: "Laaaaaaa La LaLa, Wait till I get my money right..."

In the meantime, I'm gonna leave you with this FINE SPECIMEN--McKinley Freeman!! If you've never watched the show, he plays Derek, a professional basketball player who is Ahsha's temptation.
That smile, those eyes, those lips, that SIX PACK.....girrrrrrrlll I wouldn't have resisted either! #MCM

Warning: NSFW!!

If there was ever a picture of what my ideal man looks like, this is it!)

This Is Why I'm Single.

I want to be as brutally honest on my blog as possible, even if I don't always want to admit these things to others. Promise not to judge, k?

Alright. 

Soooo, yesterday I was at work talking with my co-worker whom I sit beside at the call center. Here's the background: We have a little bit of a flirtatious, friendly relationship. We even used to "exchange texts" months ago but that simmered down for whatever reason. As much as our personalities click, I just don't think we want the same things right now.  

He insists everyday that I have a boyfriend. In recent months, I've ditched my glasses for contacts, I've straightened my hair for the first time in years & I've gotten, umm...thicker. In his mind, all of this adds up to: You got a man!

He couldn't be anymore wrong...

Why can't I make these changes for myself (which I did)? I got contacts because I was tired of wearing glasses, I straightened my hair to re-appreciate my natural curls and kinks, and I got thicker, wellll...because I've been eating. All the wrong things. A lot.

So, I tell my co-worker I don't have a boyfriend--I have two: Ben and Jerry. That's the only thing giving me something nice and sweet right before I go to bed. (LOL!)

Somehow or another, the age-old question came up yesterday: "Why are you single?". I've been asked this question so many times, mainly by guys that are trying to hit on me. The honest answer to that question is that if I really knew the answer to that question--I would not be single! The question haunted me for the rest of the day at work: Why am I single...CHRONICALLY single?

For basically all of my life, I have been single. Not single like "I'm dating around & loving my freedom," I'm talking about single...with no prospects. I've had one boyfriend back in high school that I actually count (we dated for 6 months). Other than that, it's been casual text flings and a few hot-and-heavy make out sessions.

Now, look, I said don't judge. A lot of you are probably thinking right now: Is she crazy? Is she a lesbian? Is she just too picky? The answer to every one of those questions is "no". I just feel like I've been unlucky in love. I long for it and have spent so many nights fantasizing about what that love would feel like and hugging my pillow to sleep.

So, I'm going to try to dig deeper. I'm almost 24 years old and this year I would love to actually find a man. This drought has got to end! All of my friends, family & associates want it to be over too! I even promised my friends (and family) last year that if I didn't meet a man organically, I would sign up for all the online dating subscriptions (eHarmony, Match.com, BlackPeopleMeet) on my 24th birthday. Lo and behold, I'm 3 months away and no boyfriend or prospects. Ugh.

Now, I've tried consulting with others friends, other guys...my little sister...for advice. All of them have different words of wisdom, but all of them seem to be on one accord: it doesn't make sense that I'm single. I'm fairly attractive. I'm intelligent. I have a great personality. I know how to dress. (I'm saying this in the least cockiest voice that I can.) It just doesn't make sense.

So, why? WHY AM I SINGLE?

I've pondered this question for many, many years. I don't think there is one particular reason I'm single but here's 7 things that may contribute to my singledom:

1. I'm kinda shy. Now, for those who really know me, they wouldn't say this is true. When I'm in a crowd or surrounded by strangers, I get a little anxious. It's hard for me to talk to others...especially men that I find attractive. I turn into a middle school girl all over again.

2. I'm not aggressive enough. Oftentimes, I wait to be approached by guys. I've talked to a few friends and their advice was for me to approach guys. Then I ask: "Have you ever approached a guy??" They say "No." The message that this sends to me: "I always get approached...but since you're having problems--you need to do the approaching." I come out of the conversation feeling like something is really wrong with me. Maybe it wouldn't hurt for me to try, but my shyness kinda gets in the way.

3. I come across unapproachable/high maintenance. I've been told that because I like to dress nice and fashion forward, it makes me unapproachable. (Huh?!) Apparently, the way I dress makes men think that I'm high maintenance and I've even heard that I dress "like I already have a man." I've also heard that I should try cracking a smile. I tend to have "resting bitch face" syndrome--meaning my straight face comes off mean. When people talk to me, I almost instantly smile though. I've read that smiling at a man makes them feel more comfortable. I guess it couldn't hurt to smile.

4. I don't know how to flirt. This is embarrassingly true. Most girls seem to naturally pick up on how to flirt--I missed the lesson. I don't always know if I'm sending the right signals to guys. Can flirting be taught?

5. I don't really get out much. My social circle is tiny. There's no one for me to meet walking around my apartment. In a nutshell: Maybe if I got out more, it my broaden my dating pool.

6. My text/messaging game is weak. I take forever to respond for one of two reasons: 1) I forgot about your message 2) I got tired of trying to think of the "right" response. Sadly, this has cost me a few potential candidates. I stop texting and everything fizzles out. Even though texting is the new age way to communicate, I prefer phone conversations.

7. I don't give up "the cookie". In a world where men expect "microwave p&%$y," I'm not going to give up the goods without a little work. (I'll dive more into why in another post.)

Ok, so here's a few areas where I could definitely improve my chances. I want to find a man. I want to find love. 2016 is my year! Let's find it.

If you have any advice for me or have a similar story, please COMMENT below!

To Be Continued...

Live Your Life In YELLOW!

Yours Truly,
Aesha <3

(DISCLAIMER: I promise all my blog posts won't be as long or a bunch of my venting sessions. lol)

The Search For "Me".

Heyyy...long time no see. 

Ok. so let's just ignore the fact that I haven't wrote anything in close to year. I always start head first into writing a blog and get sidetracked. I want to be able to have a blog that actually progresses this year.

On to the topic at hand:

Ok, so here's where my life currently is right now (and I'll be brutally honest)--I'm 23 years old. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in marketing a year ago. I have my own apartment and I work a job as a sales agent at a call center. Friends: Not too many. Love Life: Ha! Non-existent. Career: Not going like I want.

I don't know if this is quite normal for my age but...I feel uninspired. I feel unmotivated. I feel confused. I feel alone. I feel unsuccessful.

I desperately want to make changes in my life whether that be socially or professionally, but a lot of the times I feel like I don't even know where to start. I've also been trying to put a finger on what exactly my true passion in life is. I've spent a lot of my life with dreams of being in the fashion industry. Whether it was modeling, designing clothes, styling, fashion blogging, and owning a clothing boutique. Fashion has always been what came easy to me, and I do love it, but I've been trying to figure out if it's what I want to do with my life. Is it where I belong? Can I make the dream happen?

But if it's not fashion what else could it be??? I tried to go through things that I like to do:
1) I've always liked to write and it's always been a side dream of mine to write a book. I'm also in love with the idea of having a blog because even though I feel like I live a fairly boring life, I feel like I still have a lot to share. Am I a writer?
2) Ever since I was about 10 years old, I've always known that I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I want to be my own boss someday. What line of business though?
3) PR/Marketing. Now, you might say "Duh, Aesha! Isn't that what you went to college for?!" The reason why I chose to go to school for marketing was because I do enjoy scheming up marketing strategies and creative ways to brand products. The suit-and-tie of the corporate world honestly isn't for me. I'll take the salary though! lol
4) Entertain. Now this may seem outlandish, but I've always wanted to be a star. I would love to someday walk a red carpet and be known and recognized. Sure it's a dream, but I think my heart may lie somewhere in the entertainment industry. Maybe a record executive, talent agent...even an actress. Now, true, I've never really taken an acting class but it's something that I am drawn toward. Even though acting classes are a little bit of an event, it may be worth trying out to make sure it's not a passion I'm missing out on...Am I any good?? I also can sing a little (but I don't think I'm meant to be a singer though).

All in all, I want to discover what I'm passionate about. I want to begin working toward something that would truly make me happy and fulfilled. I want to bring back excitement and purpose to my life. I always want to get away from working "jobs" and start a career. Step one is finding the passion; step two is pursuing it.


I'm on a quest in 2016 to find my passion and chase it & I hope to use this blog to document it. Tell brutally honest stories. Give you a look into things I love & hopefully inspire some people along the way.

Buckle your seatbelts--It's going to be a bumpy ride! Live Your Life In YELLOW!

Here's an article I found when I googled "I want to find my passion">>>11 Incredibly Simple Ways To Find Your Passion (Pretty good insight!)

Yours Truly,
Aesha